There’s a quiet side to early motherhood that we don’t always talk about. Amidst the joy and the wonder, there can be a loneliness, a kind of tiredness that seeps deeper than just lack of sleep. For me, those early months after having my second child brought a subtle but persistent shift in how I felt.
With my first, I felt happy, elated even, and treasured every waking minute... But the second time around, something felt different. I cried - a lot. Sometimes without reason, sometimes from nowhere. I developed a fixation on my baby's health – he wasn’t ever settled, convinced something might be wrong. Looking back, these weren’t just the normal ups and downs of new motherhood. It was a form of postnatal depression - mild, yes, but real enough to change the way I moved through each day.
What I came to realise was how deeply connected my mental health was to my sleep. Sleep is a superpower - something I think we’re only just beginning to understand in terms of its impact on wellbeing. And in those early months, my sleep was broken, inconsistent, and often filled with anxiety rather than rest. I didn’t just feel new Mum tired, I felt unwell. Sleep wasn’t a luxury; it became survival.
My journey back to feeling better wasn’t linear or perfect, but it did start with something small: a wool blanket. It was heavy in the best way - grounding, comforting. That simple weight helped me begin to settle again at night. When I woke up on a night, if it had slipped off my bed, I’d pick it up and pop it back on top of me.
From there, I started exploring what else I could shift. I thought about my sleep hygiene and wind down routine. I changed what I slept in and on, turning to natural fibres that were free from chemicals. I looked at what I was eating, how much water I was drinking, how and when I was moving my body. I reached out for support, asked for help, shared the load. It became a multi-pronged approach: nothing revolutionary, just consistent, nourishing changes.
I was fortunate to have support around me - the space, the resources, and the safety to gently explore what helped me feel better. I know that’s not the case for everyone. And I also know that for many, postnatal depression is more complex and consuming than what I experienced. This is just my story that I wanted to share during Maternal Health Week in the hope that it helps someone feel less alone.
One thing I now know to be absolutely vital, more than any blanket or bedtime routine is talking. To a friend, a partner, a GP, a midwife, a health visitor. Saying “I’m not okay” can feel like the hardest thing in the world, but it’s also the beginning of everything softening. You don’t need to carry it all on your own.
If you’re in it right now, feeling low, anxious or disconnected, you are not failing. You are human. And if there’s one small thing you can do today, let it be this: speak it out loud. And then, if you can, rest a little, drink some water. Let your body and mind know you’re listening.
Be kind to yourself and seek support and good sleep… brighter days will follow.
Sophie x